This was meant to be a gardening blog but that fell by the wayside. I'm not really healthy enough at the moment to do the serious gardening that is required so I've decided to use it for other musings.
One thing I've been thinking about lately is the way I'm living my lifestyle. I used to have a kennel, and by that I mean I had two guys who used to look upon me as their owner. We were very close, so close that the two pups even started going out after a while, didn't work too well given they were both bottoms.
I miss it to be honest, not necessarily the sex but the closeness of it all. I used to like being there for them, as both an owner and a big brother figure. It eventually went sour due to me having an accident and not being able to be there for them, I therefore gave them their freedom.
I want something similar again, I would love to act as that father / big brother figure to a guy, or guys, and have the closeness that comes with it. I'm not feeling exceedingly top at the moment so anal may not be available at all times, I only like topping guys I'm completely comfortable with anyway as I see it as something very special. I am unusual in that I let my pups top me, if that is something they want to do. I don't see it as showing weakness or submission as I'm still in control.
I want a boy to lie with his head on my lap, to come to me for advice and comfort, to know that he is loved. I don't do rules as such, I rely on trust, which works both ways. All I ever ask for is that everybody, myself included, plays completely safe outside the kennel (if they want to play outside). That is a level of safety over and above what normally is needed, for example, I'd advise condoms for oral sex (giving and receiving). Regular testing is also sensible.
Maybe it's too much to ask for these days, but I can live in hope.
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